I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Randomize
