If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
