I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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