just survived the first fart of the relationship.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
And then my night got REAL pukey
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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