This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Your cock deserves a montage
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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