We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize