He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
