I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Randomize
