Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
