If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
He kissed a someone with a penis
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Randomize
