Those balls look pretty dangerous.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
