Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
