i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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