You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
this boner is exhausting
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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