I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
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