I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize
