I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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