I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
