Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
