She's JV to your varsity
I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
