Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
