I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
