About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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