I think i peed on brittanys purse
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Randomize
