Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize