Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
