the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
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