ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize