Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
