They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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