My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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