my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
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