I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I want to be your penis for a week.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I'm too high and old for this...
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
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