You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize