If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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