There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Randomize
