also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Randomize
