Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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