I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Randomize
