Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
