It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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