Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize