screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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