White coat. Heels.
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
A bitchslap is in order.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
