i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
she smelled like a LAN party
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Randomize
