if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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