whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
