I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
