I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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