I want to stick my p in your. b.
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Randomize
