butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
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