Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
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