Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Randomize
