those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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