Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
