I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
You're a waste of cheezeits
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
