I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Randomize
