dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
