Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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