Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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