Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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