Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
