I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Randomize
