Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Randomize
